Plenty of brides and grooms probably wish they could tell some of their wedding guests how to behave on their special day. Leadership Network member Bradley Scott had no qualms about doing just that. At the end of January Bradley tied the knot with partner Nirupa George at a ceremony at the Shri Swaminarayan temple in Avondale, Auckland. In the lead-up to the special occasion, Bradley shared a series of “Tips from the white guy”, basically a bit of guidance on wedding etiquette for his non-Sri Lankan guests.

Nirupa fled the Sri Lankan Civil War, arriving in New Zealand as a ten-year-old. As a nod to her heritage, the couple decided to have a Tamil as well as a Western wedding ceremony. Since his engagement to Nirupa, Bradley had attended a few Tamil weddings. For a newbie, the experience can be overwhelming, he says.

“There’s 300, 400, 500 people all who knew what was going on. And then there was me. It’s just kind of really chaotic – what’s going on and where am I supposed to be?”

He provided guidance on suitable wedding attire: “I’ve received a request for #tipsfromthewhiteguy about Tamil wedding fashion. This one can be as elaborate or as simple as you want to make it.

“The same style of attire as you’d wear to a western style wedding is a-ok. And, probably the default option for most of you. On the other end of the spectrum would be going all out, with a sari for gals and a verti and shirt for the gents.”

Bradley also clued guests up on logistics: “At the end of the ceremony, half of the room will be invited up on stage to bless Nirupa and I, and half will go to the dining hall for dinner. In either case, expect a queue. But once you’re on stage and at the front – the blessing is done by sprinkling rice on our head, then shoulders, and then knees. Just remember the nursery rhyme, but without the toes part. Or, simply copy the thing the 100 or so people before you have done.”

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Courtesy: Asia New Zealand Foundation

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