They say home is where the heart is. But, where is the heart of a home?

Saira knew the answer.

She’d searched for it in every home she knew and they all lead her to the same place — the warm, messy, and firey heart of a home, oxygenated by the women of a family.

The place was the kitchen.

For a long time, Saira wanted nothing to do with this place.

She saw the kitchen as a symbol for societal expectations on women. To her, the comfort of a cooked meal was the perfect disguise for the discomfort women felt in every other place around them.

A kitchen was the safest place for women because no other place was.

For a long time, Saira rebelled against this safety.

Then, she moved to a new country where everything was different, including the kitchen.

At first, she entered to ‘help’ her mother. Then, she tried new recipies and felt the joy (and annoyance) of perfecting the flavours, smells, textures and spices of her cullinary creations.

Moving to a new country and creating a home ‘here’ made her realise how terribly wrong she was.

The kitchen was not just a space of confinement. It was also a place of connection. Where hurt could be expressed while the tea simmered. Where laughs could be shared as the halwa was tested for taste again, and again. Where each masala in the masaaldaani infinitely combined to produce multiple stories of the women in a home.

For a long time, Saira stayed away from the heart of a home.

But now, she carried the art of the kitchen to the new places and people she encountered.

An art carefully crafted by the patience of a mother, the accountability of a sister and the care of a daughter.

***

‘The Art of the Kitchen’ is a fictionalised account of real-life reflections for the author. Moving from India to Aoteroa-New Zealand opened many ‘old’ ways of thinking up for debate. The experience made her question accepted scripts and attempt new ways of being — ones that are oriented towards more fulfilling relationships with one’s families, colleagues, friends, and communities. ‘The Art of the Kitchen’ brings one possibility forward — learning from the interpersonal expertise of women in Indian households, who are the masters of one of the best cuisines in the world.

Photo courtesy: Gagan Kaur 

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